How to know and deal with workplace Bullying 怎样认识并处理职场霸凌

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This blog post is inspired by a book Workplace Bullying – How to confront and overcome it (by Andrea Adams) which I recently read, plus some observations and experience in my past and present professional life. It is not an attack on any person/organisation or crying for help for anyone, but rather based on research to cover workplace scenarios, it aims to raise awareness to every single corporative personnel who is victim, witness or actor of workplace bullying.
最近读了一本由作家Andrea Adams 写的叫做【职场霸凌-如何面对并克服之】的书,结合我这几年工作的观察和经验,故而写下这边文章。写它的目的并不是有意要针对某个个人或者集体,也不是为某人打抱不平,而只是为了让每一个在工作岗位中的人了解职场霸凌,特别是其受害者,旁观者以及侵犯者。

Most people do not realise and cannot categorise what they are facing as workplace bullying or alternatively also called mobbing, misconduct at work. Obviously, when you are the actor, without serious reflection on your behaviour, it is hard to acknowledge it.
很多人其实并没有意识到他们在职场中收到的委屈,其实可以归纳成职场霸凌,或者职场欺凌,是工作中的不良行为。很显然,如果你是侵犯者,如果不仔细反省,是很难意识到并承认的。
就像大爆炸中的Penny一样。

According to Wikipedia , definition: Workplace bullying is a persistent pattern of mistreatment from others in the workplace that causes either physical or emotional harm. It can include such tactics as verbal, nonverbal, psychological, physical abuse and humiliation.
维基百科中给出的定义是:职场欺凌(英语:Workplace bullying),泛指在工作场所里,个人或团体对于同事或是下属进行不合理的欺凌行为。包含言语、非言语、身体、心理上的虐待或羞辱。

这种形式的攻击行为不同于在学校里的欺凌行为,职场欺凌通常有关于组织中的既定规则和政策的运作;欺凌者可以是同僚,偶尔也可能是下属。 欺凌行为可以是隐蔽或公开的,欺凌的负面影响不仅引响了被欺凌的个人,也可能导致员工士气的下降和组织文化的变革。

Everyone is a potential workplace bully, the workplace environment and company culture play an important role on whether bullying behaviour can be tolerated or not. For instance, the probability of bullying is higher for an organisation who is purely result-driven than those who are people-driven.
每个人都是潜在的欺凌者,工作环境和公司文化很容易纵容或者抑制人的这种行为。例如,一个以工作成果为主要价值的公司比以人为本的公司更容易产生职场欺凌。

Are you one of the bullies? How to identify? If you ever acted as one of the below consciously or unconsciously, you are a bully or potential one.
你是一个欺凌者吗?怎样来判断呢?如果你在职场中曾经做过下面至少一件事,那你已经是一个欺凌者了。

Identify workplace bullying behaviour 辨认欺凌行为

1. You want to have control, you get satisfaction when undermining others’ ideas or proposals 你想要控制局面,不断地否定别人给你满足感
Some of the managers or direct colleagues feel insecure about those who are competent, instead of enabling others proactive, they undermine others until they are silent, or no longer creative. The result is, the bully remains the most dominant one in the group and continues to control the situation.
职场中有一些上司,或者是同事,因为别人(特别是信人)更加出众而产生嫉妒,从而不断削弱和否定别人的点子或者方案,而非帮助和提拔他们。结果是,那些才华横溢的人在这里不能施展,而欺凌者在集体中始终保持着最重要的位置。

2. You constantly interrupt other people 你不间断地打断别人
When in a face to face meeting or conf call, you constantly interrupt another person, let the victim feels whatever he is saying is stupid, or worthless.
在谈话中,你不间断地打断别人并强加自己的观点,从而使受害者感到不管自己说什么都是错的,或者愚蠢的。

3. You shout at, threat or intimidate your employees 你对别人吼叫,威胁并使之感到害怕
I used to have a manager who shouts the employees, even in the open area. One of my ex-colleagues got a nervous breakdown eventually.
我曾经有一个上司每天像定时炸弹一样对同事们发火并大吼,最后我有一个同事已经快精神崩溃了!

4. You ignore, or single people out 你忽略,或者孤立别人
You deliberately single out someone to keep him or her out of some of the communication, later on, use it against the victim for underperformance.
你故意孤立团队中某个人,让他得不到应该得到的信息和帮助,之后却因为他没有好的工作成果而对其批评。

5. You take the credit of others 你强抢别人的功劳
In a hostile and competitive working environment, it is very easy for people (even the direct manager) to take credit of others. When getting praise by others, at least acknowledge the one who put all the effort into the work. If you walk out the credit effortlessly, you are a workplace bully.
在竞争激烈的工作环境中,很容会有个人或者甚至上司抢别人的功劳。在这里劝告一下你们,抢功的同时,至少提一下那些勤勤恳恳为工作付出的人,否者,你就实实在在是一个欺凌者!

6. You make personal comments, for fun, or pure attack 你以搞笑为名义来评论或者攻击别人
Words are hurtful, some of the words which cannot be categorised in sexual harassment or discrimination are hard to be identified. Sometimes I hear people say “I feel uncomfortable about what he is saying, he might think it is funny, but not for me.” When confronted, the actor typically says “What’s the big deal, it is just for fun”.
言语伤人,在工作环境中,歧视或者性言语攻击已经明文规定为不良行为,恶性的言语攻击其实是职场欺凌。有时候受害者会抱怨说 “他说一些话让我很不舒服,也许他们感觉很好笑,但是我不觉得”,而欺凌者通常会说 “这么不能开玩笑啊!”。

7. You don’t keep open communication 你的沟通或者通知方式不透明
This is more of a communication style issue, the bully usually communicates important information verbally and casually, and expect other people to carry work out, if the result is not as expected due to misunderstanding, the victim is blamed for it.
欺凌者通常会模棱两可地沟通重要信息,通常随意地口头通知,然后期待下属开始工作并拿出成果。受害者通常会因为信息不全或者误会而出错,从而被责备,这也是侵犯者最常用的一招。

8. You lie casually or make stupid excuses when getting confronted 你撒谎,或者用非常愚蠢的事做借口
Never lie! 永远不要撒谎!
Some people make casual lies to make them look better, sometimes even say things like “No I have never said that it must be YOU misunderstanding”, but people are not stupid, it is very easy to find out the truth.
有的人喜欢随时撒谎,大谎小谎只要让他们看起来很光鲜就好,有时候面对质问的时候甚至会说 “我从来没说过这样的话,肯定是你听错了”,这样的行为非常可恶,因为欺凌者把别人的智商当驴。

9. You refuse to delegate 你拒绝把任务分配给别人
You don’t trust others, you want to have control of everything, and later on, blame the team not taking up the responsibility.
你不信任别人,你想要控制所有的事情,而之后却责备队伍不负责任。

10. You micro manage 你微观管理

11. You change working instructions and personal objectives repetitively 你不厌其烦地更改工作命令和员工个人目标
Some of the victims in the research suffered from poor performance in annual review year after year, mainly due to the bullying boss change regularly the objectives and working instructions of the employee. The result is everything the victim is doing get criticised.
在被研究的受害者中,很多在工作中得到年度差评的人都是因为上司不断地更该工作命令,不断给一些计划之外的任务,员工的年度目标也被随意更改,从而导致受害者做的所有事情都被认为不对,或者不和目标相符。

12. You treat others with no respect 你对别人极度不尊重
You have a team of people with different responsibilities, if you have non-secretary profile personnel in your team, don’t give him task like printing, or bringing coffee. Such behaviour is by no means a sign of respect, not even when you are in a hurry.
你的同事有自己的任务和责任,除非他是一个秘书,否者叫他端咖啡,打印文件等命令是对人非常不尊重的。

13. You only give negative feedback 你只给别人负面的反馈
Positive feedback and constructive negative feedback is important for the employees, to identify the personal strength and weakness, build up self-confidence and improve oneself.
工作中,员工需要时不时地收到表扬,如果有什么负面的反馈,也应该是建设性而不是批判性的,这样员工才能扬长避短,从而增强自信心。

14. You give unreasonable deadlines 你给别人非常不切实际的截止日期
Unreasonable deadlines create unnecessary stress, chaos and quality issues. The receiving end will be faced with lots of pressure, if your team cannot commit something, don’t even try to commit to your higher management.
不切实际的截止日期会造成不必要的压力,混乱和工作质量问题。如果你觉得自己的团队没法在规定日期里完成需要的工作,那么就不要向你的上司承诺。

15. You made your subordinates nervous, and you enjoy it 你的下属见到你紧张,而你却因此感到骄傲
In some of the bullying cases, it was so serious that whenever the victims see the bully, they begin to have physical reactions like sweating, diarrhoea or headache.
Sadly, some of the bullies enjoy such power.
在一些非常严肃的欺凌案例中,受害者见到欺凌者的时候都会有生理反应,比如流汗,拉肚子,头疼等等。令人心寒的是,有的欺凌者觉得这是权利的象征。

16. You show no sign of empathy 你没有同理心
We often talk about work-life balance or work-life separation, unfortunately, work and life and inter-wined, they both impact each other. If an employee is going through some hard time in the personal life, the colleagues or direct manager should show some empathy and lower the expectation temporarily provided that it is a temporary situation.
在现实生活中,要把工作和生活完全分开是不可能的,因为两者相互影响相互制约。如果员工的家庭正在遭受一些不幸的事情,这时候上司和同事应该给与支持和鼓励,必要的时候因为降低对其的工作期待,直到情况好转。

If you are a victim, what to do? 如果你是受害者,怎么做?

1. Stop it before it ever starts 把他扼杀在襁褓之中
Be alerted about any of the bullying around, if it happens to you, confront assertively at a very early stage!
Communicate firmly that this kind of action is not acceptable.
This appears to be the most effective way to fight back the workplace bullying.
在进入复杂的工作环境中后,一定要警觉身边的欺凌行为,熟读公司的员工手册。一旦发生在你身上应该立马坚定地指出来,对欺凌者要用非常坚决地口吻让其知道,欺凌人是不良行为,公司和个人都不会接受的。
调查显示,这其实是对抗职场欺凌最有效的方法。

2. Prepare your case 准备你的案子
Unfortunately, most people only realise that they are undergoing workplace bullying until it was months or years after when their physical and self-confidence are dramatically impacted!
Fighting back the bully at this stage is not so effective, sometimes might be even counter-productive. The bully gets raged and the situation can be even worse.
不幸的是,很多人只有在几个月甚至上年以后才忍无可仍,或者才意识到他们在被同事或者上司欺凌,而这个时候他们的身体和精神已经大大地被影响到了!
这个时候如果突然当面对质,是会产生适得其反的效果的,欺凌者可能会心生怨恨,使用更加残忍的报复手段。

At this stage, you should start preparing for filing a case, to human resource, or higher management. Be very careful, as you are the weaker part, you need to prepare it thoroughly via evidence, otherwise, it might end up with your words against the bullies.
这个时候,你该做的应该是准备向人力资源部门或者更高层的管理来上诉一个在职场被欺凌的案例。你必须非常小心,作为弱者,你的言辞必须要有证据来支撑,否者,这将会成为一个口水战。

Start taking notes and logs about incidents to great details including date, time, place, witness and the exact words during the conversation, those will be used as evidence.
你必须开始在每次收到欺凌之后,都在日记本上详细地记录下时间,地点,以及旁观者,这将在以后被用作非常有力的证据。

3. File the case to authorities, internal, if not working external 向内部的管理层上诉,如果需要,向外界的有关部门求助
Most of the victims in the research ended up with being transferred or dismissed because of unfair handling.
Some of the victims continued to seek legal help even after they are dismissed.
由于职场欺凌在很多公司没有受到足够的重视,很多被采访的受害者在受到身体和心灵的创伤之后还被换职,地域调换甚至被开除,而欺凌者却还在以前的职位胡作非为。
很多受害者在被开除后还继续通过法律方式上诉,终于得到了该有的公正。

4. Recover via a career break or consultation 你需要一些时间来恢复
The endurance and fighting of the bullying is a very time and energy-consuming process, some of the victims need years before they regain their self-confidence.
作为被欺凌对象,不管是忍耐还是对抗,都是一个很漫长而且耗费精力的过程,有的受害者需要好几年的修养来重拾自信心。

6 ways to build up your self confidence

What not to do when you are being bullied

What can an organisation do? 在职场欺凌这件事上,组织可以做什么?

Workplace bullying creates a hostile working environment, reduces creativity and productivity, it causes an enormous amount of destruction physically and mentally to the victims, worst scenario, he or she loses the self-confidence and eventually gets depressed.
职场欺凌产生一个非常恶劣的工作环境,降低员工生产和创造力,并对受害者产生极度的生理和心理的伤害,甚至失去自信心,最终抑郁。

The organisation should by no means tolerant such behaviour, even when the deadline or result is the priority. The cost of employees turn over, sick leaves and reduction of productivities are much higher than the sales result.
公司应该严厉杜绝职场欺凌行为,就算有很重要的截止日期上司有很大压力也不能作为借口。员工离职,生病以及工作效率下降的成本可比销售数字大多了。

The organisation should make awareness of workplace bullying and also establish a clear procedure for workplace bullying complaints.
公司也应该在员工中大力宣传职场欺凌,提高认识,并且建立一个员工可以投诉的精简准确的流程。

Complaints should be treated seriously, otherwise, it is an encouragement of the bullies.
一旦有投诉,一定要严肃对待,否者,就是在纵容欺凌者。

Bottom-up evaluation or “Evaluate your manager” is a good approach to identify the management behaviour and the fact that it exists already putting the idea of bullying at a minimum level.
由下往上的评估或者‘评估你的经历’也是一个很有用的方式来检验管理层的工作方式,实际上,它的存在已经给欺凌者一个很大的打击。

The employee satisfaction survey is also very important to identify the situation before all the ones being bullied quit or break.
员工满意度调查表也是一个很好的了解员工思想并提前了解工作环境的方式。

Write at last
Once I came across the following post on LinkedIn which I do NOT agree at all:
我曾经在领英上看到了下面这样一段我并不同意的话:

The reason that I do not agree with above is:
Employees spend quite some time at the working place, even more than with families. A work environment needs to be healthy, safe and secure, only then can the employees work productively and be happy at work, not by shutting down the feelings!
我不同意上面的观点是因为,我们其实大部分时间都是花在工作上面,和同事在一起的时间比和家人在一起还要多。任何人的工作环境都应该是健康,安全的,这样员工才能高效与快递工作,而不是麻木地忍受一切然后回家做饭。

Work shouldn’t hurt, period.
工作不应该让人受到到任何伤害,很简单的道理。

Related movie – The Devil Wears Prada (2006)

I would like to recommend a movie called The Devil Wears Prada, as glamours as Miranda looks like, she is a big bully in the workplace, everyone is scared of her. Another reason I like about this movie is that it makes people wondering about the balance of career and happy family for females, and also the choice between meaningless glamour and real life.

The Devil Wears Prada (2006)References:
Workplace Bullying – How to confront and overcome it -Andrea Adams Book on Amazon
The office bully, why he is still in the office
What not to do when you are bullied

Pictures:
Travel pictures from Interlaken, Switzerland, Nov 2018
Suits
照片为2018年11月瑞士因特拉肯的风景照。

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