Posted by The previous post, From Corporate Cubicles to Startup Heights: A Journey of Friendship and Opportunity, ended with the importance of networking, today let’s explore one of the networking skills – reaching out.
Cognitive Silo
Big data technology pushes filtered data to people based on their preferences, which amplifies the bias.
If your social circle is narrow, these biases reinforce each other, creating a ‘cognitive silo’—akin to self-imposed isolation.
The best way to break free from this silo is to expand your social network. Connect with people who hold different opinions and perspectives. Understand their viewpoints to achieve diverse social connections.
The art of reaching out
Today, let’s explore the art of ‘reaching out’—the proactive act of connecting with unfamiliar faces. Our story features my good friend, Annie.
A few years ago, Annie was on a job hunt, attending interviews at numerous companies. Progress was slow until she crossed paths with me. I recommended a position, and after our brief discussion about interview preparation, she effortlessly secured her first job in Belgium.
Annie didn’t disappoint. She excelled at work, consistently earning top performance ratings each year. Recently, she even received a well-deserved promotion, assuming greater responsibilities.
The truth is, Annie’s success was entirely her doing. She’s exceptionally talented—a graduate of Renmin University and currently pursuing her Ph.D. at VUB. Her eloquence and unwavering diligence set her apart. My role? I merely facilitated an introduction, leveraging my network to provide her with an opportunity.
In the real world, many outstanding individuals face career challenges due to a lack of such opportunities—a bridge of trust between them and potential employers. This underscores the immense importance of cultivating high-quality connections!”
Why did I help Annie?
Although it was a small gesture, it still required some effort on my part.
Reflecting on my network, I identified individuals relevant to her field and with influence. I reached out to them, and serendipitously, some needed hiring.
But how did Annie manage to persuade me to assist her in connecting with these strangers? Today, let’s delve into her ‘art of persuasion,’ and you can learn from her techniques.
An Antithetical Example
Now, let me share a contrasting encounter—one that left me bemused.
Since I started my public account, people frequently added me on WeChat. These individuals fell into several categories: some sought group access, others merely wanted to expand their friend list, and a few posed intriguing questions. Among them were genuinely exceptional minds, and we became good friends through stimulating discussions.
However, there was one person who added me without a greeting. She bombarded me with numerous questions—voice messages and texts—while I was still responding to the initial query. The audacity! And then, to my utter disbelief, she called me directly while I was brushing my teeth. I promptly declined the call, explaining that texting would be more convenient.
Goodness, in this day and age, isn’t it common sense to message before calling? Not for her apparently.
She had some rather complex questions, and I needed to look up information myself. At one point, I advised her to consult a professional, but she responded with, ‘Lawyers charge fees, and it’s too expensive.’
Hearing this made me very uncomfortable, and I thought, ‘So, I’m just a naive free person in her eyes.’
I had a full-time job, and the next day, after researching, I replied to her. However, I discovered that she had blocked me! I’m not obligated to serve her but being blacklisted after 24 hours without a response is both amusing and frustrating.
Nevertheless, it indirectly shows that this person lacks networking skills.
Annie’s reaching out
Meeting Annie was a complete 180-degree difference from my previous experiences. It was incredibly comfortable.
After she added me on WeChat, she introduced herself briefly. She mentioned that she studied media and was currently pursuing a Ph.D. She had recently gotten married and had a child in Belgium.
Annie expressed her admiration for my writing and wanted to get to know me better. She invited me to have brunch with her and her close friend.
Brunch
The three of us met at a café in Brussels. We introduced ourselves, discussed our backgrounds, and shared our aspirations. The connection was instant.
During our conversation, Annie mentioned that she was preparing to find work in Belgium. She had interviewed with some companies and was waiting for responses. She liked my articles but felt that my formatting was too plain. She offered to help improve it so that I could use it directly as a template for my future writing.
This was my first time meeting someone from the internet and then in person. Despite initial nervousness, I felt happy after returning home. It was refreshing to connect with people from different backgrounds, and I learned a lot from them.
Becoming Friends
Afterward, we stayed in touch. Annie proactively helped me with formatting, and I continued to follow up with her job search progress.
One day, she expressed uncertainty about whether to stay in Belgium. We had an in-depth conversation for an hour. My advice was for her to explore whether she enjoyed living here independently, with her own career and social circle.
The conclusion was that she should try finding a job first. Given the challenges in the job market, I wondered if I could assist her.
My only thinking process is that I might know someone that she needs to know, and the rest became history.
Key Takeaways
From Annie, I learned valuable networking methods that I continue to apply:
- Don’t Be Shy: If you want to connect with new people, take the first step boldly. Expanding your circle starts with reaching out.
- Introduce Yourself: When reaching out, introduce yourself. Even if there were no subsequent brunch, I would have commented on the contact card. Perhaps in the future, I can recommend relevant job opportunities easily by searching on the contact list.
- Authentic Intentions: Annie didn’t approach me solely for help; she genuinely wanted to connect. Her sincere brunch invitation demonstrated her authenticity.
- Offer Value First: Before asking for anything, Annie provided value by improving my blog formatting. Understanding our strengths and helping others naturally strengthens relationships. Remember, it’s a two-way street.
In summary, building relationships involves understanding your own strengths, offering assistance, and maintaining a balanced exchange.
I hope this article gives you some insights and reflection on reaching out to new people, if you’d like to reach out to me, you know what to do hahaha.